The Day I Met Idris Elba

It was about 6pm… a grey, wet and windy evening. The wooden gate was unlatched. It kept butting its head against its frame repeatedly. Lovely, it would have been if it was rhythmical, but it was grating on all nerves.

Everyone heard it; no one wanted to go and end it. By 6.15 pm, I had had enough. I marched down the stairs, snatched my mackintosh off the hook, grabbed the keys by the side table and jammed them into the keyhole. Of course, they didn’t all fit!

Taking a deep breath, I chose the right key and let the others hang down, shrugged on my Mac properly, put the right key back into the keyhole and turned. The wind had grown fiercer…it seized the door out of my hands. I didn’t fight back. I jumped out instead, and let the door slam shut.

With the wind howling and the gate frantic in its banging, like an animal in pain, I reached out to still the gate; give it some relief from the pain it seemed to be going through, when the beam of a set of headlights caught my hand in mid-action. There was a strange sort of spluttering and the car rolled to a stop right in front of us.

“Excuse me, is it alright if I come down here and have a look at the engine of my car? I think it’s run out of water.”

Car running out of water? Was that…? Is that…? To be honest, I don’t know much about cars so I couldn’t say if they would run out of water or not but something about that voice sounded weirdly familiar and like a woman in a trance, I held the gate open and waved ‘voice’ and car through. It rolled down the drive-way, while I finally latched the distressed gate.

“Sorry to impose upon you like this but I forgot to top up the water in the car’s radiator and I believe that’s the sound of it over heating.”

As it spoke, the figure unfolded itself from the driver’s side, legs stretching for miles. When all of it had finally made its way out of the ailing but beautiful, sleek, low-slung piece of machinery, it turned out to be a man…a tall, dark and handsome man, no cliché. Just like the car but with enough water to make knees weak.

The man stretched out another long extremity – his arm; hand extended for a shake…

“My name is Elba, Idris Elba.”

No, I didn’t faint or any such thing (wish I did though), I just woke up!

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