The Absurdity of Husband-Snatching [Revised Edition 2014]

I snatched Nkiru’s husband,

He was not tied very tight;

I flew him to my homeland

Perched on a very great height.

He didn’t even squirm,

He didn’t even shout,

He leaned back and enjoyed the ride;

The great, stupid lout!

When at first Nkechi snatched him,

He gave a sickening grin.

Then Tobi came and did the same

He chuckled; the imbecile!

I don’t know why we bothered,

He tasted rather vile;

We should have snatched Emeka instead

At least he made us smile!

We came back for seconds,

To see if Emeka was there.

The silly boy man had taken flight

We searched everywhere.

I called up Temitope

And asked if she could help

She said she had snatched Emeka for herself

He was easy; a willing whelp.

We didn’t find her funny,

But there was not much we could do.

She said Emeka gives in easily

To every caw and coo.

I suggested Victor

Nkechi said, “Let’s try.”

But Temitope said she was bored.

That snatching had become too dry.

We tried to waylay Victor,

We tried really hard

But Victor was as tough as nails

And always on his guard.

He laughed at our feeble efforts;

He chortled at our vain attempts.

“You cannot snatch me, sorry girls,

I’m glued to my wife with cement!”

So here’s the moral of our story

For those who curse and swear,

Except a husband wants to be ‘snatched’

Your efforts are in vain, my dear!

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16 thoughts on “The Absurdity of Husband-Snatching [Revised Edition 2014]

  1. And she’s back! Was gonna send an email yesterday sef, wetin happen? Don’t tell me you were busy o. You have to do serious penance for denying us of your fabulous posts.
    I love the poem, it’s so true, so funny and absolutely on point.
    I’ve missed you…. Plenty, plenty

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But it is insulting! It suggests that the man is gormless worm, incapable of thought, speech or action; that he is commodity on the shelf of Boxing day sales, at the mercy of avaricious women who have nothing better to do than snatching things off shelves!

      Like

  2. Hay!!!!!! Welcome Back!!!! At some point I thought I mistakenly unsubscribed and was manually checking. Hope all is well?

    I’m sorry I didn’t bother reading. I honestly don’t like poems, so I skipped. sorry. Really glad that you are back. Merry Christmas in arrears. 😀

    Like

    1. Kachi, Kachi, Kachi!
      How many times did I call you???
      How can you not like poems ehn kwa???
      Go back and read it or face the wall! 🙂

      On a more serious note, thanks for the welcome. I was just in a dark place, like I told Adaezenwa…light is only just seeping in.
      I do want you to read this one though; it’s a silly one…no analysis, nothing. Just try.
      I’ve missed your refreshing honesty…Merry Christmas to you too!

      Like

      1. UWC…i feel honored being the centrePiece of the lesson…lol!!!

        “We tried to waylay *Victor*
        We tried really hard
        But Victor was as tough as nails
        And always on his guard.”

        Liked by 1 person

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