Pak Hia [Park Here]

Pak hia! Pak hia!”, a thundering voice bellowed.

Ego gave the man a demure smile, her dark eyes twinkling with barely concealed fire. He’s lucky I’m strapped and he’s nowhere near my window.

Her face didn’t betray what her heart was cooking.

The man’s short arms were flapping like elephants’ ears.

Ego kept the demure smile stuck on her face, easing her foot away from the accelerator, while she waited for his directions and arm gestures to make sense.

“Didn’t you hear me? I say pak hia!

Ego pressed the button; her window slid down noiselessly.

“Park where, please…sir,” she added that last three-letter word as a cover, to prevent the bubbling in her heart from boiling over.

“Women drivers; never decisive. I say pak hia, of course,” his elephant-ear arms finally coming to rest in the direction of a tight space between two white vans.

The demure smile never faltering; a quick flick of fingers and elbows, Ego eased her seven-seater into the tight space, opened the door and wriggled out of the car.

With her slender, six-foot frame, balanced gracefully atop her six-inch platform shoes, she towered over ‘Pak hia’ whose eyes by now had begun to bulge to the point of almost popping out of his head.

The pot in her heart bubbled over and escaped as a thin stream of red mist out of her left nostril. It covered the spot above ‘Pak hia’s’ palm kernel-shaped head and his bulged-out eyes began to roll back in his head.

“Ego! Nwakaego!”, a shrill voice permeated the red mist. “Rapu ya, he’s not worth it.”
Ego slowly quenched both fires; the one in her eyes and the other, bubbling over. The red mist retreated. Pak hia’s eyes rolled back. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes as if to clear invisible cobwebs and stared at the Amazon standing before him and another one, just a shade shorter, striding towards them.

“Have you paaked?”, his thundering voice now a squirrel squeak.

He looked around puzzled as if to search for his voice. He glanced down as if to see if his voice fell on the ground and was crushed by the two women in front of him.
Confused, frightened and bemused, he held his voice box with one hand and ran off, flapping the other elephant-ear arm at the approaching motorists.

“Pak hia! Pak hia”, he squeaked.

[For my sister, Ego, who is indeed an Amazon but as for the mist…well…]

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4 thoughts on “Pak Hia [Park Here]

  1. ‘He glanced down as if to see if his voice fell on the ground and was crushed by the two women in front of him.’ Hilarious!

    Like

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