Help! There’s A Teenager In My Home

Help! There’s A Teenager In My Home





Where’s my vest?

My shoes are gone!

My trainers have disappeared!

Standing by the window

Eyes on the clock

Eyes peering through the curtains,

Into the darkness.

Help! My fridge was full…


I thought I had a full bottle of pink nail varnish…

Did I leave my hair band on my bed?


I don’t know what’s happening to me

I can’t find anything!

There’s a party going on in my back garden

I am not invited

It’s my house!



My questions are replied with grunts


Eyes on the phone,






Or rolling in their sockets…



There’s a teenager in my home!




There’s a teenager in my home!


The school called again today

Sassy, back-chatting, lippy


The teacher is wrong and doesn’t want to admit

I was just pointing it out

Voice raised


Muttered curse

Not to his ears though

What’s his problem?

Well, you’re not my dad!

Head of Year’s office

Stern looks

               Eyes everywhere but us

Muttered apology

Spat out like broccoli


There’s a teenager in my home!


Skirt rolled up

Is that a weave or wig?

What happened to your own hair?



Doc Martens


School shoes?

What happened to Clarks?

Hush Puppies,


Good old Bata?

School bag?

That’s my handbag!

Your handbag?

My school bag

Everyone has it!


Everyone has this

Everyone has that

Everyone does this

Everyone does that


Everyone is about to jump off the cliff!

Not even funny, mum…


There’s a teenager in my home!

I’m going to Jack’s

I’m going to Jill’s

Did they go up a hill?


You know Jack broke his crown, right?

Well, they’re my friends not yours!

And Jill came running after… what? Why judge her?

Not bringing friends home

Not talking about them either

Chatting with them

Fingers flying over phone keys

Fingers fly over my dishes and wash them please

Thunder and brimstone

Dishes are in trouble


Go to the shops for some milk please

Fire and lightning

Stomping and storming

Dark clouds are hanging

Hope the milk doesn’t curdle



There’s a teenager in my home!

Mother’s day

Cleaned room

Washed dishes

Vacuumed carpets

 Invasion of the body snatchers?

A favour soon to be asked?

Mother’s day meal

A choice of three different dishes

My favourite dark chocolate

 The car is sparkling

Inside and Out


I’m hyperventilating

I’m dreaming

I’m hallucinating

I’m eating ice-cream and pop-corn

On the sofa

Legs tucked under; covered with throw

Watching my favourite program

No battle over the remote!



There’s a teenager in my home!



A hug before school

A kiss on return

Hunched over the computer

Homework…no hassle

 Taking baby sister out

Emptying the bin; the recycling bin

Using bike at last

Calling grandma on the phone

Calling aunty on the phone

Having a conversation with sister

No arguments


Having a conversation with me

No grunts

No groans

No mutters

Real speech

Eyes on me

Not on the PSP




Mobile phone…

On me

Smiling, eyes twinkling

Love you mum; you’re the best.

Thank God!

There’s a teenage in my home!

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